Today I turn 35.
Not important to you and not important to me either.
What is profound is the incredible life message that today has taught me.
The power of the heart and how it can change everything for you.
On this day 4 years ago I was sat here, just like I am now, in my office at home.
It was of course my birthday.
I had received five messages, mostly from my family with well wishes for the day. Not that I wasn’t grateful for these birthday wishes, I was. Yet I longed for more…
I longed for the connection, the love and the sisterhood that I had seen other women experience.
I yearned to make a difference in the lives of others; to give without being asked and to care without wanting anything in return but more than anything, the desire to want to do so.
I wanted to feel supported when life got messy and to know I had women by my side who cared and appreciated who I was.
That’s when I made a decision.
A decision to dedicate myself to others. To bring women together in an honest, inspiring and supported way. To help them see their value and to care. I wanted to create a sisterhood around me filled with love, honour and respect.
And so that day I set an intention and I said a prayer.
“Help me to love more, help me to judge less. Change my heart God”
Within a week I had the opportunity to take over a women’s social group, I renamed it ‘The Belles’, and I grew this amazing posse from 72 women to 1200. Almost weekly I showed up to our events ready to listen, to love, to care and to help each woman see how valuable she was. I made the effort to ensure every woman who walked through that door felt important to me.
During those two years I made incredible friendships but most of all as the host and leader it taught me a very valuable life-long lesson…
The ability to release all judgment.
To love people where they are at and to show them that they matter regardless of who they are, what their background is, how unique their interests were or whether or not they were ‘my type’ of person.
I learned to listen and I learned to care.
It’s very easy to love our friends.
True character is loving those who are different from us.
This is when my heart began to change.
Without effort I found myself wanting to know more about others. Not the surface level small talk but rather what was lingering below. Who were they, what did they want and their dreams. I wanted to know their fears, their past experiences and what terrified them.
Instinctively I began looking for ways I could care more. I would ask myself ‘How could I help and where could I serve?’
Over time my desire to touch a woman’s heart…the raw, real and vulnerable side of her grew.
The yearning for deep connection and the realness of who we are slowly unravelled through my friendships.
Although I didn’t realise this was happening.
Not until today.
Because today is my birthday.
Four years on.
And life has played out a very different story.
The women in my life mean more to me than words can express. The sisterhood of love, support, mutual respect and care for each other exceeds the depths of my heart.
I am humbled by the hundreds of messages and dozens of calls that have come my way. I’m in tears of immense gratitude for the women who have personally contacted me to share how their life has been impacted.
I didn’t set out to receive these messages, the love or the gifts which have showed up today.
I set out to change who I was.
It was choice and it took effort. At times it even inconvenienced me.
Because even when I didn’t feel like it, I showed up where it was needed. Even when my head was saying one thing, I followed my heart and did what was right. I made a commitment to create love in my life and even when I practiced this every day to the point where I forgot about this commitment, my heart didn’t, because over time I began to reap the seeds of love I had sown into women’s lives.
I am no different from you. I am unapologetically flawed and so damn imperfect.
I simply recognised that I was responsible for the reality I experienced 4 years ago. I knew in order to live what my heart longed for – I had to change who I was.
The strongest power you have access to is the power of your heart.
Your character is formed by your values. Your heart is shared through your love. Together these two elements combine to leave an impact in the lives of others that does not go unnoticed.
The greatest gift you can lead with is influence. To live with authenticity. To be kind at all times. To show up without judgment and to make someone feel valuable, significant and loved.
If you are sensing the same feelings I once did four years ago. That sense of emptiness. The power lies within you to change.
You will transform. Your life will become richer. And you will reap the power of the heart.