Blog Self-Belief + Self-Worth

How To Be You

How to be you? It’s a weird topic…how do you be you? how do I be me and who are we really?

This is the question I am asked frequently.

This weekend I am speaking at Girlpower on a topic which is so dear to my heart: opzioni binarie quando investire Self-Worth

I work with hundreds of women a year and regardless of the reasons why they are coming in to see me, underlying in every single one of them is a negative self-image.

As women we are all too quick to judge, criticize and put ourselves down and rarely celebrate our talents, gifts or abilities. Our lack of self-worth holds us back, keeps us stuck and unhappy and creates a cycle of self-sabotage that can only be broken when we truly love and accept ourselves.

‘Lack of self-worth’ used to be my middle name. In fact we were besties. All through my teens and twenties I let a lack of self-worth dictate who I was and infiltrate every area of my relationships, career and health.

It showed up specifically for me not in overeating, under exercising or people pleasing – which is what I commonly see. In my situation I placed my own self-worth and value on what other people thought of me; whether they liked, approved or accepted me determined whether or not I felt good enough.

opzioni binarie con quanto iniziare If they didn’t like me, I thought there was something wrong with me.

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Back in 2009 something happened that would change the course of my life forever.

Despite living what I thought was my dream life at the time; what I realised in hindsight (reflection is a wonderful thing) was that it was in fact my binäre optionen einstiegssignale Ego’s dream built on a foundation of false beliefs.

What were these false beliefs?

That I wasn’t good enough, that I needed to be and have  X, Y and Z to feel significant because when I was significant…then I would be someone worthwhile, of value…important. I spent my 20’s chasing X, Y and Z in order to feel good enough.

I had placed my self-worth on ALL things external which from the outside looked picture perfect; my business title, my role in my company as well as the life I was living and the other people around me.

Yet when I left this world and it all came crashing down. I felt completely lost and found myself asking bonus opzioni binarie conviene ‘Who Am I’?

cash store locations That was the moment I hit rock bottom.

Because everything I chased that ‘defined’ who I was and made me ‘good enough’ I no longer had.

I feel many of us place our own identity on the roles we play; as a wife, mother, girlfriend or in our career…so when these roles disappear or change we feel lost, alone and confused.

When you lose yourself in a ‘role’ and it becomes all encompassing, when it becomes your life – and then you experience a breakup, leave this role or have a baby….

demo option web Re-defining yourself or should I say ‘re-finding’ yourself can be a challenge, when you placed your identity on that which was outside of you.

This was the realisation I came to when my entire world came down around me and that was when I hit my lowest point. Thankfully, the only way was up and considering I felt I had lost my identity and everything I thought I was…it was easy to rebuild myself from what I had perceived myself to be…‘no-one’.

This journey involved turning inward and listening to my heart. I spent years finding out who I was and healing hurt, guilt, shame and resentment from my past. I needed to forgive myself, forgive others and un-program my childhood limiting beliefs. I needed to re-discover my faith and surrender to the plan God had for me and not my own ego driven desires, that lead me to a place of no-where before so I was happy to relinquish control.

This was the point I began to live my life authentically from who I really was and what truly mattered.

I focused on love. I gave more. I tried my best to love people for who they were, without judgment and slowly the desire to drive that fast car, have that expensive house and fill my wardrobe with designer clothes melted away…what was left was the truth of who I was and the real joy and peace that comes from living an authentic life.

binäre optionen ig Was it easy to overcome approval addiction? No, it was ingrained in me.

http://247loan.ca/payday-loan-complaints-canada payday loan complaints canada Am I still terrified at doing things that my head tells me not to do? Hell yes, but it’s worth it.

Far too many times I had listened to that negative voice in my head and ignored the feeling in my heart and the events almost five years ago was the final time God had to knock on the door of my soul and say, “Child, when are you going to learn”.

I did finally learn the lesson and man it hurt…..for many, many years. Until I chose to forgive and love myself and recognise the gift for what it was.

For it’s our biggest falls which become our greatest super powers

 

Living according to my true self and rocking my authenticity was really about stepping into who I am. This is now so much stronger than my desire to be liked and accepted.

Yet for the first 28 years it was the other way around.

Looking back, that time in my life was the greatest gift I could ever have received because it forced me to re-evaluate what was important. Leading me to where I am today – living and loving myself and helping women celebrate their true authentic selves.

le opzioni binarie forum My desire for you beautiful is to begin to listen to your heart and discover who you are.

* Find the inner courage to speak up and share what you are feeling even when you are terrified.

* Do the thing you feel in your heart that you desire to do regardless of how other people may react.

* Walk away when something is no longer serving you.

* Recognise where you may be ‘people pleasing’ and learn to set boundaries and say ‘NO’.

* Forgive yourself for mistakes and release all guilt, shame and resentment from your past. This is only limiting who you can be today.

Make this part of your daily practice and over time you will find the inner strength to become the person you were born to be.

I believe you have a seed of magnificence inside of you, which when discovered and nurtured enables you to live your best, richest and happiest life.

This seed is hidden within your heart; overshadowed by the voice in your head

 

Do the inner work to discover who you are and your life will transform…I have experienced this and I have seen it time and time again.

You are unique so shine your light in this world in a way that only you can.

Much love,

Debbie x

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2 Comments

  • Reply Ver November 30, 2014 at 10:20 am

    So how do you actually do the inner work ? I sometimes get stuck in finding out why I am jealous of someone ? Why do I keep stalking their social media accounts ? What do they have that I want ? And how do I uncover and resolve those past ingrained beliefs.

    • Reply Debbie Spellman December 1, 2014 at 6:08 pm

      Hi Ver,
      This question has actually come up twice this week so I will respond via a post. Keep your eye out but I’ll also post the link here for you when it’s complete. It will help you move past this jealousy and envy that you are feeling. Uncovering and resolving past ingrained beliefs are specifically what I teach in my programs. It’s a process that requires deep self-work and reflection. I will be sharing this in my upcoming program launching early 2015. If you are not yet on my list, jump on via my free e-course so you are notified when registration opens.
      With love,
      Debbie xo

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